I Will Love You Forever

Madelyn did not get a nap today.  By 7:00 she was so tired.  She did not even make it through her normal 15 minutes of singing Christmas songs at bedtime before falling asleep with Matt still lying in bed next to her.  This NEVER happens.  About an hour later, I heard her kind of whimpering in bed.  I went up and she said she had to go potty.   I got her up and she barely opened her eyes.  I couldn't resist the urge to take this sleepy little girl in my arms and go to the rocking chair.

As I sat down she snuggled in next to me, barely awake.  I know that the number of times that she will curl up and sleep in my arms is now numbered, and so I closed my eyes to soak it in.  It is amazing to me how some things have remained the same.  Her "little body" is not so little in my arms anymore.  Yet aside from the weight of her laying on me, so much is just how I remember it.  The sound of her breathing, her legs curled up against her belly, the feeling of her chest rising and falling,  the warmth of her skin against my hand, the way she clenches and releases her fist until she finally gives into deep sleep and her hands lay limp on my chest.  Then pure bliss as you know she is finally asleep.  Knowing that you should lay them down, but sneaking just a few extra minutes anyway.

The days of babies are not so distant for me.   I remember wishing they would sleep through the night - even just once.  But now days, I find myself wishing they would wake up in the night, wanting mommy's arms around them - even just once.